PaperPinwheel

How Quickly It Fades

2012-02-01T15:06:00.001-07:00

the men begging to clean my shoes the moose along the trail the hidden hot springs the small children asleep on the sidewalk floating over powder the nirmanakaya buddha in front of my face

And

2012-01-16T17:18:00.002-07:00

oh, it snowed today!
loving this blog
and so excited that Norweigan Wood is finally being released in the US!

These January Days

2012-01-15T16:03:00.000-07:00

*umeboshi plums, walnut butter, meyer lemon slices in water
*exercising, finally (the ballet didn't stick...)
*thoughts of green sprouts creeping in--even though spring is a long ways away
*the book proposal almost done, finally!
*dzongsar khyentse (listening to old teachings, reading his books)
*sundance next week, so many movies sound good, like this
*this avocado cacao shake
*making bath bombs and lotion bars for belated gifts
*still wrapped in layers of wool. in blankets and boots,
*kumquat clementine celery salad from super natural cooking
*anticipating receiving my first ever issue of 3191 Quarterly
*looking forward to moonrise kingdom, the new wes anderson movie!

2012-01-13T19:55:00.001-07:00

what to write? why so hard to make myself practice, to workon the book? the book that doesn’t want to be written. perhaps? or the book that won’t be written.all week I so wanted to write, to work on the book, but was too busy doing more pressing things; nowthe urge has fled. how to get it back? force, wrangle it? oh how I love theinterruptions—to check a blog, my email.

creamy milk tea, creamy honey milk tea.

Dungse Thinley Norbu Rinpoche

2011-12-28T09:34:00.001-07:00

Earlier this year, we lost the great beings Khandro Tsering Chodron and Kyabje Trulshik Rinpoche. And now, Dungse Thinley Norbu Rinpoche. ..

Message from Ven. Gyatrul Rinpoche on Dungsei Thinley Norbu Rinpoche's Passing

We have heard that Thinley Norbu Rinpoche passed away. Therefore, at all the centers students should gather if they can and practice Dorsem Lama Chodpa--the practice of making offerings to the guru as Vajrasattva. Individually, students should recite Vajrasattva mantra as much as they can. Why should everyone do Vajrasattva at such a time? Whether or not the lama who passed away needs purification, we have no way of knowing. But when a great master passes, the power of merit accumulated at such a time is said to be increased even 100,000 times. Therefore, since we all need to purify our obscurations and accumulate merit, we can use the Lama Chodpa (practice of offering to the guru) as the method to engage our three doors in virtue at that time. Engaging our body, speech, and mind in such powerful virtue purifies the negativity that we constantly use them for out of habit. And we all have connection to this lama, the son of His Holiness Dudjom Rinpoche, so therefore we need to practice now.

There is a special blessing and power to practices done at such a time with faith and devotion--the merit gathered and the negativity purified are truly inconceivable. This is because of the enlightened intent of such a master, whose every act is only to bring benefit to all beings. Such masters are not ordinary like ourselves. They don't die like we do, powerless and sniveling. They are born into this world as an act of compassion, as long as their physical body endures they use it only to bring benefit, and then they pass away and again teach the truth of impermanence just as Buddha Shakyamuni did. Therefore their passing, too, is part of their enlightened display, their miraculous activity in this world. That is why there is such power and blessing at their seeming 'death.' We should not think, "Oh, I'm so sorry that this lama is dead." Instead, we should feel faith and devotion and appreciate that we personally have such an opportunity for powerful practice. We shouldn't think, "Oh, it is just tradition to practice when a lama passes." It is more than just a tradition; it is an opportunity to take advantage of the exceptional blessing of that time. Also, traditionally you might go and offer katags and other offerings, and maybe you can't do that now, but always you can make the offering of practice. That is a real offering, and you don't have to go anywhere to make it.

We also shouldn't think, "This was not my lama." In fact, when any great lama of any tradition passes away there is this same opportunity. We can always do the Lama Chodpa practices at such a time. Gelug, Sakya, Kagyu, Nyingma--it makes no difference what school of Buddhism the master taught or practiced. We also should not think that there is no blessing for us if we never met that master in this life. When you do the Lama Chodpa, you are offering to all gurus, all yidams, all dakinis. You should think in a vast way like this when you practice, don't be narrow or rigid thinking that it is only one way. A true guru encompasses all the three roots--all guru manifestations, all yidams, all dakinis. You don't have to do the Lama Chodpa only for a lama, or only at their passing. We always need to gather merit, because we are always exhausting our merit. We always need to purify negativity, because we are always so busy making more negativity. Therefore see this as an opportunity to practice, a time of blessing and guru devotion, and do as much Vajrasattva as you can--a little bit here and there continuously. It will be of great benefit.

[PCS] Vio/Miré - Shrinking Coasts

2011-12-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

loving this lately

Of Note

2011-11-09T19:20:00.002-07:00

1) The movies Restless and Submarine
2) Persimmons and walnuts
3) Sweet potato greens soup with olive oil and feta
4) Layers of wool
5) Upcoming: Ali Shaw's The Man Who Rained and Linda Olsson's The Kindness of Your Nature
6) Sigur Ros new album in spring!

7) Spending my first ballet class in 17 years with professional ballet dancers=unnerving
8) A day in the kitchen roasting chickpeas, butternut, apples, pumpkins and their seeds; baking pie, making pumpkin soup and avocado kale salad
9) The sweetness that is my work
10) H&M insanity
11) snow and more snow

the first 10 minute of INNI - sigur ros

2011-11-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

Teej!

2011-11-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to post this since I was in Nepal a few months ago!

When the music first began, I was worried it would stop before I’d get a chance to document it. K and I were practising in our room. I was itching to finish and race out to the balcony to record this strange occurence. The music was like nothing I’d ever heard--it rose up from Bhanjang as though to the heavens--this blasting Nepali pop. Little did I know I had nothing to worry about, as the music marked the first day of Teej, beginning at 8AM the first day and not ending until the night of the third! Instead of worrying that the music would end, I soon began to worry about my sanity-or lack thereof-as just a handful of songs were roatated at an ear-splitting volume over the next few days--ultimately boring into my brain.
From what I’ve been able to glean, Teej is a Hindu festival for woman which lasts for three consecutive days. During this time, the men supposedly stay home and cook, and the women dress up and go to temples to pray to Shiva for a good husband and/or the health of their families. The married women dress in shimmering red saris accented with green, moving through the streets of Pharping en shimmering masse. In the evening, the women and girls gather together and dance (to said blaring music).
In Bhanjang, the little village down below Karma Chagme’s monastery, two enormous speakers had been set up in front of the shops in the dirt. They stood there, blasting their music through sun, fog and rain. It was the music from these speakers that I heard that first morning (and the next, and the next). Along with the addition of the speakers in Bhanjang, across the street below the school, a tent was set up next to a small shrine. Banners of triangular colored cloth crisscrossed the street.
In the morning, the music was the soundtrack to the villagers going about their daily routines--the women spreading cobs of bright yellow corn, husks and wet sheets on roofs; sitting in the sun combing their freshly washed, impossibly long black hair; dogs chasing small chickens; laundry hung to dry; men standing around.
Throughout the day, the tent slowly began to fill, first with jubilantly dancing little girls holding hands twirling in frilly dresses; then with more and more women, until evening when the tent became a mass of undulating red in the rain, while men and boys looked on.
Sitting on my bed, the music mixed with the sounds of the monastery: the blowing of horns, crashing of cymbals and thumping of drums by the young monks up in the temple. It mixed with the sound of K chanting along to a loudly playing recording of Penor Rinpoche and his monks chanting and playing instruments--resulting in the most horrific cacophony I had ever heard.
Even after K and I had threaded our way through the lush green fields, where dry cornstalks towered above us and rice grew to our waists, where white cranes flew and goatherds tended their goats, to the other side of the valley, we could still here the music! Even as we walked through the neighboring village of Drolod and climbed up scaffolding whose safety we questioned, to the top of the 118 foot Guru RInpoche statue being built, there was still the music’s echo.
Last night, Teej ended with the women down in the tent singing and clapping out rhythms. What did Teej teach me? How lovely silence is! It made me miss the whirring of crickets, the cooing of pigeons, the occasional honk of a horn going down the mountain.

Indeed,

2011-11-04T11:42:00.000-06:00

there was
cider,
apple cider doughnuts,
the toasting of pumpkin seeds,
this:

There was also this:

a foot and a half of snow,
a dragonfly frozen on the windshield,
the power out,
huddling 'round the fire,
dad heating water for coffee with a blow torch
fallen trees littering the streets,
everything closed.
a snowmageddon

Resigned

2011-10-18T08:55:00.001-06:00

As I mentioned last time, I was having a hard time accepting autumn for a few weeks there. My body and mind perhaps confused from all the shifting temperatures lately: boiling hot and rainy in Nepal to warm India to crisp here. But I'm finally resigned! No, not just resigned but even embracing fall! The yellow aspens, the squash, the apples!

And next week I finally visit my family's home after being away for almost a year and a half. I am looking forward to sweet (and naughty) nieces and nephews, apple cider from the side of the road in lunenburg, flaming maples, and my dear family!

Better

2011-10-07T18:57:00.000-06:00

Well, I think I'm finally settling back in here--the melancholy has lifted--despite the mountains covered in snow, the forty degree weather, the gray skies. Library books never fail to cheer me. Today three were waiting for me...I'm especially excited to read Vendela Vida's, Let the Northern Lights Erase Your Name and Tove Jansson's Fair Play! Oh, and to watch another Susanne Bier movie tonight. Last night I rewatched After the Wedding, one of my all time favorite movies. How could I not love it: India, Sigur Ros soundtrack, amazing acting...Oh, and this blog!

the last month and a half

2011-10-06T19:03:00.003-06:00

trying to become accustomed once again
to the most holy of places
mixed with garbageeverywhereincessanthonkingnoisebeggarspovertyfilth

khenpo telling me i need to be able, "to live at any level," to be able to seamlessly shift between comfort and poverty, west and east

the worry that the indian police would come throw us in jail for not having our PAP's...

and then k's illness. for really the first time in my life being confronted with sickness, and needles, and hospitals. i don't know how k does it...being a doctor

so while Asia was anything but easy this time around, easing back into our american lives has also been a shock to the system...

k back to his gruelling residency and me back to trying to keep us both afloat

and it is fall

coming home, i wasn't prepared for pumpkins and leaves all a'change. the snowflakes that fell this morning as lentil soup simmered, my hands kneaded dough.

i'm not yet ready for the dark...

Tasty and Hygienic or Note to Myself Not to go to Asia During the Monsoon

2011-09-25T10:00:00.001-06:00

Unfortunately, not all things in Nepal and India are tasty and hygienic...

Thus, I have spent the last eight days making sure my husband didn't die from most likely typhoid fever. When I last wrote, I said he was on the mend...oh how wrong I was!

The last five days have found us surrounded by needles, iv's, blood samples and transitioning through three different hospitals here in India--k alternately burning with fever, shaking uncontrollably, sweating, writhing with nausea and unable to eat or drink for days and days. Scary business.

We were in the Namdroling hospital for two days. K laying in a three bed room next to a monk with typhoid. All the monks telling me not to worry, that everyone there gets typhoid and it's not a big deal. Oh yeah, except it can kill you!

Then we went to the Columbia Asia hospital in Mysore, which seemed like a step in the right direction, or at least a few hours closer to the airport! In Mysore, the doctor accused K of being a pill popper for taking round the clock Tylenol and ibuprofen for trying to control his fever of 104...When we said we wanted to be transferred to the Columbia Asia in Bangalore, we were told, "You'll have to take a tax because he's not really sick."

So after a three hour taxi ride last night, we ended up here at the biggest hospital in the area. I was immediately reassured by the real emergency room and how K was immediately whisked away and his vital signs checked and history taken. We are finally in really good hands here. And the best part? k really Is on the mend this time!! He hasn't had a real fever in two days and as of yesterday can actually eat and drink! The gray pallor is Gone! Woohoo...His doctor thinks we'll be able to fly Home Tuesday or Wesnesday-here's hoping...

A word of advice-if you ever go to Nepal or India, make sure your typhoid vaccine is up to date!

2011-09-21T20:39:00.001-06:00

There had been a lot of talk of typhoid this trip. First, drolkar, karma chagme's daughter-in-law told us how she almost died from it a few months ago (she waited to go to the hospital and got super dehydrated). Then a girl we met named tsering told us how she once had it and was in the hospital for six days...

For some reason, k and I assumed our vaccines were still good... then k developed a fever. Not just any fever, but a fever of about 104 accompanied by uncontrollable shaking chills. A few days later he was also throwing up and having "loose motions," as they like to say here. Unfortunately, we were all too familiar with stomach issues here, but a fever of 104 for three days-highly disturbing!!

Yesterday morning found us in the hospital, k hooked up to iv's. Fluids, antibiotics and pain meds being dripped into his veins. Not a situation you want to find yourself in!

Thankfully, the doctor at the hospital here treats typhoid all the time, so to him this is nothing new or scary.

Luckily, k's doing much much better! He hasn't had a crazy high fever for almost 24 hrs! I'm happy to report he's on the
Mend!

To Circumambulate

2011-09-12T21:10:00.001-06:00

The nausea. The humidity, the heat. The son of the begging blind couple standing near the stupa-how he hugs his mother while she runs her hands over his face. All the old and maimed people determinedly limping around the stupa. The nausea! The man all crumpled over on the ground-knees up by his ears-permanently bent in half. Mani mantras playing in the giant bhatbatini. All the old ladies circumambulating early in the morning before the heat comes on. The three men permanently in squatting position going round-one always holding the hand of a little girl in red shorts. Girls with long sheets of black hair down backs...Everyone navigating their way between masses of pigeons, dogs.

Nepal, still

2011-09-09T23:29:00.001-06:00

Just

2011-09-08T10:58:00.001-06:00

Just the head of a pig.
"Just a rat," said the front desk boy, when asked by Keith what he was chasing behind the couch (I fear the squeal will forever haunt me).

Boudha

2011-08-30T00:50:00.001-06:00

Boudha! It is indisputable that spending the last 14 months in America has totally spoiled me.

Arriving in kathmandu yesterday, you would think I'd never been here before with the way I was overwhelmed...

From the airport, we trudged with our packs out to the street, where we finally got a taxi and then proceeded to immediately get stuck in a crazy traffic jam, breathing in kathmandu's polluted air. And then, then the monsoon rains began, sheets of water pouring down and the car became fogged and the driver had to keep repeatedly wiping the window with newspapers.

And then, boudha. Throngs of people circumambulating the stupa. Lepers and disfigured people, mangy dogs and blind singing beggars. A pant-less baby pooping in the gutter. Butter lamps and incense and the smell of sewage. Overwhelming!

Today we're a bit more well rested and things didn't seem quite so crazy. Now, we're about to hop in a taxi up to the green rice paddies of pharping...

2011-08-26T19:07:00.000-06:00

Well, we made it through the dreaded 14 hr flight from Chicago-passing the time watching a movie filled with "bad informations" (as the Khyentse yangsi says you need to not fill your head with), and the oh-so-sweet Kung Fu panda 2, listening to Sigur ros and dozens of Indian babies alternately screaming and cooing on their parent's laps. K and I took turns sleeping on the floor. Exiting the plane into the Delhi airport, I would have known I was in India even with my eyes closed from the scent of spices mixed with BO that immediately washed over me. It doesn't sound good, but last nice it smelled quite nice to me. However, today, India is a bit of a shock to the system, having just spent 14 months in the god realms of the avenues of salt lake and park city!

I had forgotten the intensity of the heat here, the flies, the garbage, the ceaselessly honking horns, the smell of burning plastic, the stray dogs skulking around your legs in the streets, the small children in their white school uniforms-wearing backpacks more than half their size. But onwards we go...me and my nausea (and k) are off to Kathmandu in a few hours...

Location:India!

Sigur Rós - Ára Bátur HQ (recording)

2011-08-24T11:05:00.000-06:00

The stories of this book resonate within me

2011-08-23T20:56:00.000-06:00

Why did I never hear of Finnish author Tove Jansson until just recently? How is it possible that this beautiful beautiful writer escaped me?
Today I finished The Summer Book, one of the sweetest, most wonderful books I have ever read. The writing is clear and unpretentious...making me want to take up my own pen once again. I can't shake the feeling that this book brought upon me, as though a spell (much like the Swedish author Linda Olsson's, Astrid and Veronika).

Sakya Trizin!

2011-08-22T08:51:00.001-06:00

Amazing Amazing Amazing! There really are no words to describe what it's like to be in the presence of a living Buddha...All I can say is that despite the traffic and skipped meals and sitting on a concrete floor for five hours and being lost and lack of sleep--it was worth it!

2011-08-17T20:33:00.007-06:00

And so the alpenglow is over for the night, the sky now purple above the mountains. my daylong headache finally almost gone after ingesting copious amounts of orange gatorade, tylenol, ibuprofren and tea with cream and honey. the headache brought on by money worries? travel worries as the impending date of our departure to asia creeps closer? 'course i'm so happy and excited to go, still...i dread the long plane ride...squashed into a long row of seats in economy class. at least it's only 19 hours...

2011-08-15T10:23:00.003-06:00

I haven't been able to bring myself to write here for some time now--too immersed in life to be able to enter this space. The summer has come, and almost gone--the second summer I didn't feel the cold New England sea.

Still, we jumped into the icy waterfall pool in our underwear, there in the woods. We've slept in the hammock under the stars. We've gorged on tomato pie, berries, cucumbers, corn. I've read the beautiful Bitter in the Mouth and lived in a tiny tent in a forest in upstate New York.

Now, we are off to see Sakya Trizin in Vancouver, then on to India and Nepal...

In the Trees

2011-07-05T09:35:00.002-06:00

The last few weeks found us spending hours and hours amongst trees and water. In forests with moose and bison nearby. Crossing a crystal clear Jenny lake. At the bottom of an enormous waterfall. Sitting by raging rivers. Floating through rapids. Drinking melted snow. Loveliness.

Finally, Summer

2011-06-28T09:10:00.002-06:00

This year, salt lake has been very strict, not letting us have any truly hot days until it was officially summer. Never before have I longed for heat as I did this year. But finally, finally the hot days are upon us, the rhubarb and strawberries are here, the beans and tomatoes and blue Hubbard squash, the carrots and chard and Brussels and broccoli, it's all growing like wildfire-despite the crickets and slugs best efforts to eat everything up.

And now, finally, we've been having summer food: raspberry rhubarb crisp, homemade mint ice cream, cold asparagus soup, suntea.

And the parents are here! We've picnic-ed by rivers and lakes, stuck feet in icy waterfalls, thrown snowballs, driven through the greenest rolling hills covered in purple and yellow wildflowers, walked through snow in sandals, viewed lakes still covered in ice...

Hooray For Summer!

2011-06-13T09:03:00.000-06:00

This year in Salt Lake, spring has made a poor showing. It hasn't swooped in with nonstop sun and blue skies and warm days. Instead, there's been rain and more rain. Snow and endless clouds--the sun visiting oh so briefly. Still, the flowers haven't minded. First crocus, then daffodil and tulip, big showy irises and now poppies and roses. In the Avenues, the flowers hang out on street corners, blanket front yards; constantly cheering in the face of all this un-springlike weather. And while we're not having hot ninety degree days like they are back on the east coast, and it technically won't be summer for another seven days, each day I can feel it creeping closer.

Signs That Summer is Almost Upon Us:
1) the farmer's market has begun! fresh wild arugala, scapes, chives, honey and a billion people rejoicing in the fact that summer is coming
2) ate two popsicles the other day
3) there are tiny tomatoes on one of my plants, the painted lady beans have come up, we've been eating kale and baby broccoil greens from the garden
4) yesterday at little dell reservoir there were girls in bikinis in inflatable rafts, my feet in the icy water
5) wide open windows, two mosquitoes in the mudroom
6) the sun is up at 5:15 AM!

So Happy About

2011-06-07T09:06:00.000-06:00

-green growing things
-black seeded simpson lettuce (which i planted too late last summer but popped up this spring as a wonderful surprise)
-clear blue skies
-10 snowfree days and my tomato plants not dying!
-finally feeling better
-green green green
-that my work baby has taken a nap this morning!
-keith and i having time off together this weekend (after his third 31 hr shift in a week)!
-cherry pineapple sage suntea
-lemon leek goat cheese frittatas
-fresh eggs from the park city farmer's market (they taste like indian eggs...i guess i've been eating super fresh eggs in india and not knowing it)
-the strawberries which will soon be ripe
-asparagus picking this weekend
-the first downtown farmer's market of the season on saturday!
-argentinian cheese from my landlords!

Homemade Laundry Detergent, and other things

2011-05-27T09:02:00.005-06:00

Well, I'm feeling much better these days and so I've decided to finally post about homemade laundry detergent. I started making this several months ago, using the below recipe (which I got from the SouleMama blog), and am happy to report that it's super easy to make and works wonderfully--even on Keith's nasty hospital scrubs. Also, I am sure it's saving us at least a little bit of money!

Homemade Laundry Detergent:
-2 cups finely grated castille soap (I use Dr Bronner's)
-1 cup borax
-1 cup baking soda
-1 cup soda ash (also called washing soda)

Mix together and that's it! I use about an 1/8 cup per load.

PS I've recently discovered some very nice blogs:
Tend
Food in Jars
BapStory
Natalie Creates
Local Kitchen
How i Get Through Today

Oh, and reading this great book, The Dirty Life--it almost makes me want to become a farmer...and this looks like it might be good, The Future by Miranda July.

Well,

2011-05-24T11:33:00.002-06:00

it's no fun to be sick in spring. not when there're weeds to be pulled, sweetpeas, chamomile, calendula to be planted, irises to be cut. not when there's handcream to be made, cooking to be done, a baby to nanny for.

that said, how lucky i am that the sweet family i work for has let me take a few days off from work to recuperate, that i finally have health insurance!, that i have a warm comfortable home to rest in!

so, here i am on the couch with plugged ringing ears, a cough that won't quit, reading a book about a woman who volunteered at a radio station in bhutan, trying to figure out how to make more money without getting a second job outside the house, staring out the window at the droopy wet lilacs, trying to remember that things will get better--in a few years k will be done this dreadful residency and our lives will open wide.

The Countdown is On and Trying to Be Present

2011-05-17T09:03:00.000-06:00

-14 days till keith finishes this dreadful ob/gyn rotation
-37 days till my parents come to visit
-74 days till we leave for retreat
-116 days till we leave for india

oh so much to look forward to!

and if i can just stay in the present a bit--down in salt lake, kale, broccoli and lettuce
are growing nicely in the garden
along with lavender, lemon thyme, rosemary, peppermint, spearmint and cilantro

now, if it would just stop snowing up here in park city!

The Beautiful

2011-05-09T08:59:00.001-06:00

1) Bryce Canyon
2) Children of God - heartbreaking korean documentary about children who live on the grounds of the crematory beside the bagmati river in kathmandu. you see these street urchins (often huffing glue) every day in kathmandu and getting a glimpse inside their everyday lives in this movie is unbelievable.
3) By the sundeck, the strawberries and lilacs are blooming
4) Inspiration
5) An upcoming visit from the dearest of parents!

zion

2011-05-05T16:14:00.001-06:00

there were billions of caterpillars falling from cottonwood trees--onto our necks, our heads.
each night we'd pick dozens from the firepit, roast potatoes, chocolate oozing into marshmallow. there were red mountains, day long hikes up and up and up.

here, we wake before dawn. hours before dawn.
before the sun has set, we fall into bed.

today, the birds are merry.
the sun shines, warming the front porch.
plans for our first dinner outside this evening!

and in less than three months we will be in a little tent in a forest in new york. basking in the glow of the three heart sons, khenpo...hooray!

This

2011-04-30T15:31:00.000-06:00

is a reminder to myself that despite the 30 degree temperatures and snow on the grass, it's still spring.

Over the Hill by Agnes Obel

2011-04-21T20:10:00.000-06:00

Arabic Coffee

2011-04-14T10:13:00.000-06:00

Well, it's April, and it's snowing. This weather calls for a hot drink, namely, oh so delicious arabic coffee.

Arabic Coffee
adapted from Crescent, by Diana Abu Jaber
(makes 1 cup)

2 tbsp finely ground coffee
1 cardamom pod
1-2 tsp sugar (depending how sweet you want it to be)
milk or cream

Put coffee and water in a small pan and stir. Bring to a boil. Remove from heat, add cardamom and sugar, stir. Bring to a second boil, let settle. Then bring to a third boil. Pour into a cup and add milk or cream (traditionally it's supposed to be served black).

Also, the recipe says the third boil is supposed to make lots of foam which you then top the coffee with, but i've yet to accomplish this (Diana Abu Jaber says being able to do so is the sign of an accomplished coffee maker--guess i'm not there yet)!

'No safe levels' of radiation in Japan - Features - Al Jazeera English

2011-04-05T08:47:00.002-06:00

'No safe levels' of radiation in Japan - Features - Al Jazeera English

This article is not for the faint of heart-including myself. I fervently hope all that is said in this article is not true...I think I'm going to throw up...

Spring Time

2011-04-03T13:20:00.007-06:00

Keith and I have begun having little adventures each evening--taking walks and noticing all the tiny things we'd otherwise miss--carpets of purple violets, tiny green buds--discovering secret little neighborhood trails.

We've also been getting back into reading dharma to each other before sleep--so sweet.

The forsythia outside our window is in bloom, the daffodils and crocuses are up, but this morning we awoke to a thick layer of snow.

I just now made cardamon arabic coffee--so good.

Yesterday as I ate lunch I was looking at a magazine and saw a blurb about this female rapper from Baltimore named Rye Rye. I wondered what she sounded like so I watched one of her videos on youtube. It made me slightly anxious (and not just from the insanely raunchy dancing). I think I have Baltimore PTSD...

Two days ago K and I discovered that at the top of our neighborhood are wonderful amazing hiking trails. We walked to the top of a hill and the above photos were our view! Oh the picnics we will soon have!

Oh, also, do you know about Pinterest? First, let me backtrack. I have this problem where I somehow accumulate a thousand bookmarks/favorites on my computer and phone. And then I worry they'll somehow get deleted (or perhaps my computer gets stolen and they're all lost). And Keith is always like, "How on earth can you have all these favorites cluttering up the computer!!!" Mostly they're recipes I want to make, but then I forget about them or can't find them. But, now there is Pinterest. It's this website where you can keep track of these sorts of things (and thus I can delete all my bookmarks!). Hooray, now I can organize all the recipes I want to make (and movies too see and books to read and music to listen to). As you can see, I keep trying to convince myself that Pinterest is actually good--it's a way to be organized--not a way to while away more time on the internet, or is it?

Finally, do you know about last.fm? It's an online radio which in my humble opinion, is way better than Pandora--there are so many more options and it's not so mainstream. Now I can discover new music as I clean the house!

These Final March Days

2011-03-30T10:59:00.001-06:00

1) Planning our April vacation: camping, national parks, big sur, the beach, hot springs, fresh olives and cheese!
2) Making yet another butternut soup and granola bar recipe that were flops!
3) These amazingly delicious sour cream pancakes from Smitten Kitchen...(apparently i've become a huge pancake fan).
4) ~~Discovering~~ ~~Warby-Parker~~, this amazing online glasses company where you can get a pair of glasses (prescription lenses included) for only $95! What a deal. Plus they have free home try-ons and all the shipping is free. Plus for each pair of glasses sold, they donate a pair. Pretty sweet, as the anti-reflective coating on my current glasses is peeling off and I'm not about to pay hundreds of dollars for a new pair!
5) Re-reading this sweet book.

*I have to retract the above statement. Sorry Warby-Parker, but your frames were not up to par!

Socks for Japan

2011-03-22T09:35:00.001-06:00

Last week I was going to write a post about how I was so thankful spring was almost here and how happy I was for laundry on the line that didn't freeze. And it is officially spring- only now we have snow again! The other day I discovered there was lettuce growing in my garden, I hope it survives.

Also, last week I discovered the beautiful blog Tea and Cookies. This morning when I was reading it, the author recommended this great thing called Socks For Japan. There's this American guy who works fairly close to the town with the nuclear reactor on the fritz and he goes and delivers the socks to people. Apparently, lots of people need socks! When you send socks, you're also encouraged to send a little note and the website links to a page that helps translate your note. I know it's not much, but I'm excited to do something helpful for even one or two people...

Japan

2011-03-18T07:32:00.003-06:00

Today, Japan's National Police Agency confirmed that 6,539 people have died in Japan due to the tsunami/earthquake. Another 10,354 people are missing. 300 people are still working at their nuclear power plant, exposed to radioactive material. 320,000 households have no electricity in freezing weather. 1.6 million are without running water.

I'm not sure why, but in the past, when horrible things like hurricanes, tsunamis and earthquakes happened, it didn't touch me. I don't know why, and am ashamed to admit it. I mean, I felt bad for the victims. But somehow I didn't really feel anything, it didn't penetrate. Maybe I was too young, maybe I was wrapped up in an American bubble of okay-ness. Or maybe I was just lacking in compassion. I don't know. All I know is that these horrific things that have occurred and are still occurring in Japan right now have somehow cracked my shell of apathy...

Lama Tharchin Rinpoche has recommended certain prayers to be said, including a prayer written by Chatral Rinpoche for averting nuclear war. If you're interested, here's the link: http://www.vajrayana.org/retreats/rinpoche-s-advice-re-the-japan-tsunami-and-related-events-march-/

Despite

2011-03-15T09:42:00.000-06:00

the earth's convulsions, the ocean's rising, men slicing their own throats.

there are
yellow crocuses poking through brown soil

there is
fresh green grass by the garage

Pixar's UP inspires National Geographic to build flying house

2011-03-12T08:22:00.001-07:00

sweet

Oh No!

2011-03-11T09:33:00.001-07:00

I just found out about the earthquake and 23 foot tsunami in Japan which has left ~~hundreds~~ thousands of people dead, missing and injured! Also,
"Japan lies on the "Ring of Fire" — an arc of earthquake and volcanic zones stretching around the Pacific where about 90 percent of the world's quakes occur, including the one that triggered the Dec. 26, 2004, Indian Ocean tsunami that killed an estimated 230,000 people in 12 nations. A magnitude-8.8 temblor that shook central Chile in February 2010 also generated a tsunami and killed 524 people. "

My happiness over spring flowers seems trite compared to all this...I am forever grateful that K and I narrowly missed the 2004 tsunami...Back then, we were in Phuket, Thailand for a bit. Then we went down to Singapore for a few days to see HH Penor Rinpoche. We were planning on returning to Thailand and heading to some islands in the Andaman for a few weeks. Luckily, in Singapore, Holiness' monks urged us not to do that, but instead to leave immediately for India and Namdroling for the inauguration of the new Zangdopalri temple, which the Dalai Lama was presiding over. Fortunately, we listened to the monks, just stopping back in Phuket for one day. A few days later, our hotel was wiped out...

This is a reminder to myself to not get caught up in the mundanity and drudgery of daily life, to not take this precious human rebirth for granted. I pray that all the people who have died in this Japanese tsunami and others might go to Dewachen (or at least have good rebirths)...

Do You Know What This Means?

2011-03-11T08:59:00.000-07:00

SPRING!!!
Hooray for violets and crocuses popping up!

This Is Not Healthy

2011-03-09T11:16:00.001-07:00

But it is delicious!

For years I have unsuccessfully been trying to bake bread. Each time it would turn out hard as a rock and wet in the middle. But this time ladies and gentlemen, we had a winner. Here's the recipe for Delicious But Unhealthy White Bread (makes 2 loaves).

Ingredients:
-2 packages active dry yeast
-3 tablespoons sugar
-2 1/2 cups warm water
-3 tablespoons butter, softened
-1 tablespoon salt
-6 1/2 cups flour

1. Dissolve yeast and sugar in warm water. Stir in butter, salt and two cups of the flour. Stir in the remaining flour, 1/2 cup at a time. When the dough has pulled together, turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic.

2.Lightly oil a large bowl, place the dough in the bowl and turn to coat with oil. Cover with a damp cloth and let rise in a warm place until doubled in volume, about 1 hour.

3.Punch the dough and turn it out onto a lightly floured surface. Divide the dough into two equal pieces and form into loaves. Place the loaves into two lightly greased 9x5 inch loaf pans (or save one for the next day in the fridge). Cover the loaves with a damp cloth and let rise until doubled in volume, about 40 minutes.

4.Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.

5.Bake at 375 degrees F for about 30 minutes or until the top is golden brown and the bottom of the loaf sounds hollow when tapped.

Voila!

Losar Tashi Delek!

2011-03-06T13:19:00.001-07:00

Happy Losar to all my dharma friends! I hope this year brings you into the presence of many amazing teachers, that you receive lots of teachings, and that your practice is fruitful! I miss you all! Love, J

Well,

2011-02-27T14:30:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to post for some time now. But between K monopolizing the computer to study for exams and me busy at work on my book again, it just hasn't happened.

The other night, Snowbird got 15 inches in 12 hours. So K and I headed there Friday morning. Even though we'd slept in and didn't get there till 11, the powder was insane--as though floating. Or like Keith said, as though gliding through butter. However, there were insane 50 mph winds, it was dumping, and the visibility was about 0%. Add Jenn getting stuck in waist deep powder in a flat section and you have a recipe for some tears at the end of the day! Then, we couldn't leave as the canyon was closed for a few hours due to avalanche blasting. It finally reopened and down in Salt Lake it was 50 degrees and sunny!

Yesterday I realized I've done a very poor job with my labels on this blog as I was searching for previous posts about Bodghaya and Calcutta. I spent hours going through and properly labeling things. K was proud of my archiving...If you know Keith, you know he's a huge fan of archiving. He archives the dharma, I archive our life.

In other news, K and I are off to sup with the neighbors. They've invited us for dinner. My contribution is lemon cheesecake bars which unfortunately got stuck in the pan and by the time I got them on a plate, K said they looked rat bitten. Sweet. But now they're decorated with a raspberry sauce I made, blackberries and powdered sugar. I think they're presentable.

This morning I made a Dutch baby for breakfast. It was a really wonderful winter breakfast, I think I'll try to post the recipe soon...

More good things

2011-02-12T11:50:00.001-07:00

the book from the land of the moon (reminds me of the writing of marguerite duras)
this raw chocolate milkshake
the movies it's kind of a funny story/the child and the fox. if I had kids, they'd be watching this. so many beautiful images. makes me want to live in the mountains of france and italy--where it's filmed.

hot porridge for breakfast: amaranth, buckwheat.
this soaked flour gingerbread

Road Trip Part 2

2011-02-01T09:21:00.004-07:00

at orgyen dorje den

ditto

charlie chan's

from the window in andy nguyen's--an amazing "thai buddhist diner" (as the guidebook said)--in sacramento

mocha at reno's oh-so-strange vegetarian pneumatic diner

wendover casino insanity

snowstorm driving!

so yes, there was more to this trip than just the rinchen terzod--but nothing else really mattered--i just liked these pictures i took.

k and i hadn't seen yangthang tulku for a few years, and had never received an empowerment from him--never mind dozens! truly wonderful.

in truth, the trip was like a reverse pilgrimage. everything went smoothly on the way there, but leaving...lots of obstacles! a $25 toll fine, crosssing the donner pass at midnight in a blizzard (visions of cannibals in our heads), and then snow and more snow! i think the mandala didn't want to let us go. and we certainly wished we didn't have to leave...

Rinchen Terzod Road Trip!

2011-01-31T19:44:00.004-07:00

Great Salt Lake

This about sums up Reno

Telegraph Ave, Oakland

Bakesale Betty's--best scones ever!

Yangthang Tulku!

At the Rinchen Terzod!

K and I drove through Utah, the land of endless blinking casinos (aka Nevada), by Lake Tahoe, over Donner Pass, by Sacramento and finally, made it to Alameda where the momentous two and a half month long Rinchen Terzod is occuring (for about another two weeks)!

Our minds slowly became a little more calm, perhaps a little more clear. If only we could hang onto that peace.

More snowbird-mineral basin bowl!

2011-01-31T06:49:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I've been snowboarding at snowbird since November and just went to this bowl for the first time last week! I've never before rode anywhere so amazingly beautiful and empty. From the top, you can see endless mountain ranges. It really is unbelievable!

Everything still

2011-01-25T12:48:00.003-07:00

1)dark of morning
2)drive into mountains
3)white sky
4)summit, two plows
5)snow
6)wind in the chimney
7)the park city weather like my emotions
8)snowing, then not, then snowing

Surreal

2011-01-24T12:18:00.002-07:00

-Used adult magazines! What the?

-laying on a hospital bed, alien organs on the screen. My beating heart a small mouth opening, closing.

-watching the fighter, feeling we know those people, those voices (oh Massachusetts, you are in my blood)

-driving to park city over the weekend-forgetting the sundance craziness. Strolling downtown, feeling as though transported to manhattan. The young and thin dressed to the nines. Heels and fur coats and spaghetti straps stalking the streets, the Indian jewelry shops. Celebrities closing down bars, restaurants.

-taking successive chairlifts up to 11,000 feet. Endless mountain ranges spread before me. Riding the pristine mineral basin bowl under purpleblue sky. The powder spray.

Goodness

2011-01-21T11:28:00.003-07:00

1) Driving into the mountains in the still, peach morning
2) Incredibooth and Hipstamatic apps
3) A sleeping baby at work
4) Mashed avocado with lime, salt and olive oil on toast
5) K's vegetarian chili
6) The smell of a blown out beeswax candle
7) An upcoming trip to Alameda, CA!
8) Attending a few days of the Rinchen Terzod! Yangthang Tulku!
9) K's vacation!
10) More exciting travel plans within the year!
11) The little girl in True Grit
12) K, Spencer and I wearing bathingsuits to the canyons restaurant this afternoon and getting free lift tickets!
13) A lovely, quiet day
14) People from so many differnet countries reading this blog! (But who are you? Perhaps you have blogs of your own? If you want, leave a comment, that way I can check out your blogs too. Thanks!)

Hipstamatic

2011-01-18T09:28:00.001-07:00

Usually I don't get excited about apps, but the Histamatic app is just too cool, especially because i love to take photos but have no skills or special camera. With this app it seems like I do (at least to me)!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Snowbird...

2011-01-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

Incognito

A Little Taste Of Summer

2011-01-12T08:51:00.002-07:00

I saw a recipe for this salad on the blog 3191 the other day (I can't link to this right now as I'm using my iPhone). Anyway, when the grayness of winter gets you down, this is the thing to eat! It seriously tastes like sunshine. Here's the recipe: arugala, grapefruit, avocado (I added pea shoots too). Dressing: olive oil and lemon. That's it! Who knew it could be so easy to eat summer in winter!

Now

2011-01-08T13:13:00.003-07:00

Wondering if it will snow and snow tonight--sweeping the nasty inversion away.
Hoping I can watch Blue Valentine, go sledding.
Thinking what a disappointment Somewhere was, but how amazing I am Love.
Glad the helicopter isn't able to fly today during K's shift.
Trying to stop being lazy, make miso soup, brown rice, hot lemon with honey.
Planning to work on some stories.

Magic

2011-01-06T16:40:00.004-07:00

After Khenpo left, K and I decided to take a little trip to Montana.

In case you're not sure what you're looking at here, this is Rt 20 covered ENTIRELY in ice! We traveled on this road for many a gorgeous hour
through Gallatin National Forest,
Targhee National Forest,
Yellowstone.
Past Big Sky.

White waves.

-12degreees.

By the Boiling River, Cinnamon Creek,

up the caldera.

Khenpo Guru's Visit!

2011-01-03T10:41:00.001-07:00

Well, despite the fact that none of our dear retreat friends were able to be with us (we missed you all), Khenpo's visit was a total success! "Somehow," as Khenpo likes to say, our living room was transformed into a tiny dharma center where Khenpo gave a teaching on a four line prayer by Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche and the following day, a Tsokey Thug Thik empowerment! Ten people we'd never met before showed up and almost all of them turned out to live in our neighborhood! Now I know why there are so many prayer flags around--there really are Buddhists living in those houses! Also, Khenpo has said he'll come again. Woohoo!

Oh, and the happiest of New Years everyone! Wishing you lots of peace in mind and body!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

2010-12-24T18:43:00.001-07:00

I hope it's merry and bright!

I Want to See This...

2010-12-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

Christmas Cheer

2010-12-19T11:03:00.003-07:00

Today is

2010-12-16T16:18:00.002-07:00

turning out to be bursting with brown paper packages, snowflakes, beeswax, gingerbread, persimmons, walnuts, tea, new joanna newsom songs and pinecones!

Ode to Scandinavian Artists!

2010-12-10T18:54:00.004-07:00

Sigur Rós - Við Spilum Endalaust from Sigur Rós on Vimeo.

Lately, it feels like I'm loving all things Scandinavian. And so I thought I'd tell you about some of them. Where to begin?

Well, first there's the music, much of which I've already mentioned, still...There's Sigur Ros, Jonsi, Seabear, Rokkurro, and Parachutes (although this might not really qualify as two of the bandmembers are American) from Iceland. Taken by Trees from Sweden and Lau Nau from Finland.

Then there's the amazing Swedish author Linda Ollson who wrote Astrid and Veronika and Sonata for Miriam--such lyrical, poetic language.

And then there's the blog of Finnish artist Anna Emilia.

This music and writing and art seem to have seeped into my blood, filling me with a beautiful sense of spaciousness and quiet. Reflecting the white winter world I've found myself in.

Although I'm part Swedish, I never had any interest to really go to Sweden or explore my roots, but these days I've a growing desire to someday do so...

Khenpo Tsewang Gyatso Salt Lake Visit!

2010-12-10T18:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm not sure anyone who lives in Salt Lake reads this blog, but just in case...

Khenpo Tsewang Gyatso Teaching

The Fatal Flaw

2010-12-07T10:24:00.003-07:00

Despite Salt Lake's beautiful mountains, frequent clear blue skies, alpenglow, kind people, and abundant powder, there's one thing that's not so nice--the dreaded inversion.

Oftentimes in the winter, a hazy smog gets trapped in the valley--obscuring the sun--filling the sky with a grayish-yellow pollution. Yesterday, the online news said, "The haze that hangs over the Wasatch Front is not fog. The particulate count is high enough the air is currently what experts consider unhealthy for everyone living from the Cache Valley, to Utah County, and all points in between." Yesterday was a red air quality day (I never new such a thing existed!). No idling of cars, no burning of wood allowed. Yikes! The article I read also quoted some doctor who said that with the inversion here, it's like smoking a cigarette all day! The inversion descended upon us late last week and seems content to linger until a big storm whisks it away.

Nevertheless, during K's infrequent moments off from work, we've had fun practising our buttercups and buttered pretzels on the slopes. The smell of evergreen fills the house. Lights and pinecone garlands have been hung. Sufjan Stevens, Bright Eyes, and John Denver and the Muppets Christmas albums have been unearthed, candles have been lit in windows, layers of wool and corduroy have been donned. Now for some cookie making-excited for orange-cardamon sugar cookies and gingerbread men!

John Denver: It's in every one of us plus the Christmas story Alfie The ...

2010-12-07T10:23:00.000-07:00

the light ekphrastic

2010-12-02T14:38:00.000-07:00

my friend jenny has an online journal called the light ekphrastric where she pairs up artists and writers. you submit your work and then jenny passes it along to another person who submitted, asking you both to make a new piece inspired by the other person's work. the new issue is up. click the link above to check it out. and thanks jenny, for including me!

Snowcountry

2010-11-28T14:14:00.002-07:00

My mom keeps saying I moved to snow country, and I think she's right. Last week we had a blizzard and now it's snowing again, been snowing all day--lovely. Listening to Audrey Hepburn sing Moon River. Making a flyer for Khenpo Guru's upcoming Salt Lake teaching, procrastinating on cleaning the house and folding the laundry, flipping flapjacks, planning out Christmas presents, reading the beautiful Song of Kahunsha by Anosh Irani ("Chamdi tells Jesus that from now on, he will learn to carry sadness with him as if it is an extra toe.")....Still slightly paranoid since the break-in--but trying to get over it!

Robber Update

2010-11-25T18:03:00.000-07:00

Guess what else the robbers stole? Keith's razor and razor blades!!! Can you even believe it? Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving!

thanks!

2010-11-23T10:03:00.000-07:00

no, not thanks to you burglars-if you're reading this, but thanks to you sweet friends for your kind words. it helps!

so, i got home last night and discovered even more things had been stolen than keith originally thought! then k and i spent about three hours cleaning up all the black stuff left by the fingerprinting lady. if you ever happen to get robbed, i'd suggest skipping the fingerprinting. it only makes the whole nasty business worse.

anyway, here's to hoping those crooks are okay.

Oh No!

2010-11-22T14:00:00.005-07:00

this morning all i had to worry about was whether or not the roads would be good...but today while i was working and k was snowboarding, someone broke into our house!!! it is really creepy and scary! plus they stole our laptops and keith's work bag with his stethoscopse and wallet! oh, and our iphone chargers! they must have been disappointed we didnt have much to take. one thing im sad about though are the new poems i was working on that were on my desktop...and my photos. oh samsara.
ps also, the robbers clogged the toilet!!! what the heck!?!

In Little Utah

2010-11-21T19:59:00.001-07:00

It's not yet Thanksgiving, but here in Utah it already feels like winter! The windows are fogged, there's snow on the roses, candles flickering, whistling wind and blizzard warnings for tuesday! I'm enjoying tiny pieces of citrus and knitting...Today found K and I sliding sideways down a canyon road after leaving Snowbird--scary!!! Let's hope tomorrow's commute up the mountain won't be too treacherous. Oh, and loving this baked oatmeal recipe and the beautiful, quiet book Astrid and Veronika. It seems like it's original title might have been Let Me Sing You Gentle Songs. How lovely! Also, the house is finally clean--hooray! I can go to bed happy.

Well

2010-11-19T08:54:00.001-07:00

I must say my pride took a serious beating last weekend.

I highly recommend not attempting to snowboard for the first time in ten years when you have pms and are still feeling very low-energy from a recent cold. The three do not mix.

Beforehand, I'd told Keith, "It will all come back, just like riding a bike." As you can see, I was very confident! Unfortunately, I had to eat my words!! It definitely came back, albeit what felt like sooo slowly! But yesterday, our third day out, was beautiful. Blue skies, sun, and suddenly something clicked and I found myself zooming down the mountain as before--as in my dreams!

But

2010-11-16T12:48:00.000-07:00

In the mornings, we hurry through the rice fields-
down, then up-over rocks-cold in our lungs.

We carol through the greening winter fields wet with dew,
in between dissatisfaction.

A nanny goat
A billy goat
A keyhole
The grackles in the trees

(or sometimes crying through the fields)
And the baby with the giant head, in a basket in Boudha.
I watched him flailing his arms, trying to grab a tiny toy truck.

Truthfully,

2010-11-09T20:19:00.002-07:00

I'm a bit sad and headachey tonight. It's cold and dark and despite this morning's snow, a bit of melancholy has slipped in. There are people I'm missing. And I'm sad I can't jet off to Singapore in 6 days to see Karma Kuchen--just found out tonight he'll be there...Still, my discovery of the band/song below has helped cheer me up a bit! You can download their albums for free here.

Beautifulness-Parachutes perform Of Sleep in Alex's Reykjavik living room

2010-11-09T20:15:00.001-07:00

Backtracking...

2010-11-06T20:25:00.007-06:00

Here is another old-ish story I'm in the process of working on. I might have posted bits and pieces of this before back in 2008:

In the summer, one of my teachers laughed, said, “Are you sure?” when I said I was going to Tibet. “But the roads are so high—you’ll get sick...” “Yes, of course I’m going!” I laughed in disbelief.

But first, we were in China, in Chengdu, trying to recover from jet lag. In Chengdu, there was never any garbage on the streets. It was orderly. There were trash cans and recycling bins and people in orange vests sweeping with twig brooms taller than themselves seemingly day and night. In Chengdu there was pomelo fever, a strange fancy Pizza Hut. At Air China's cashier window, they counted Keith's money on an abacus.

In Chengdu, our hotel included huge buffet breakfasts: egg fried rice, tiny bits of bacon dripping grease, prune sticky rice wrapped in tiny banana leaf packets, fried dough buns, huge sections of pomelo and tea mixed with sweetened condensed milk as rain streamed off eaves. After breakfast, I cupped my hands, let them fill with water, washing the stickiness away.

But soon it was time for us to head to Tibet. We had our Lonely Planet guide. We had Keith's rudimentary Tibetan. Armed with that, and packets of ramen, bread, peanut butter and acetazolamide, we boarded a bus.

On the bus along the Tibet-Sichuan Highway from Kangding to Chengdu, there were strange Tibetan music videos playing. We passed billboards of smiling Tibetans next to Chinese military men and women. Huge sacks of fresh walnuts for sale, kiwis and kiwis and kiwis.

It was eight hours from Chengdu to Kangding--an historical border town between China and Tibet. With those eight hours came a huge gain in elevation. We arrived in the city at 8,400 feet. In Kangding, the source of the Mekong, the Dza Chu River, flowed through town and mountains rose all around, Buddhas painted upon them.

There were only a few hotels approved for foreigners. And so we stayed in a shared room at the Black Hat guesthouse with two American girls who taught English in Chengdu. The room had brightly painted old-style wooden beds and wires sticking out of the wall with a note below that said in English, "Do not lick."

In Kangding, I had no idea what day it was. I went to a Tibetan restaurant downstairs from a hotel and drank Lhasa sweet tea from a tall clear glass while Tibetan music played noisily. It was fall. It was cold. I warmed my hand on the glass. I had a headache. Outside the street bustled with honking cars while I waited for my breakfast of scrambled eggs with tomato and tibetan bread with yak butter. There was an ATM and yak momos oozing buttery meat juice.

In Kangding, street vendors sold round potato slices on skewers that had been fried in hot oil. Girls had unbelievably long pony tails. The Tibetan waitresses sang while working. The streetlights had mantras on them--prayers glowing in the dark. There were Chinese shops of jewelry and tea bowls. Malas and rugs. A whole shop of bizarre plastic curtains--all hanging throughout the store so you had to walk through as though in a maze. Tea shops full of smoking men in suitcoats. A whole shop of stuffed, standing Tibetan antelope wearing yellow khataks.

Somehow, we ended up meeting the Dalai Lama's step-nephew. He helped us buy bus tickets, took us for tea, bought us dramamine for the next bus ride which would take us deeper into Tibet.

Delicata, Kale and Cranberry Bean Salad

2010-11-06T18:16:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I go through a short spell where I don't feel like eating anything, when I just feel so sick of everything I usually eat. For the past week K has been feeling this way. However, I think I broke the spell with this fall salad I made yesterday.

I found this recipe in Gourmet a few years ago and remembered loving it when I made last autumn. It is really simple and delicious and I can't believe I've only eaten it a few times this year! Maybe having the recipe here on the blog will remind me to make it more often...

Delicata, Kale and Cranberry Bean Salad
2 medium delicata squash
1 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
2 tbsp honey
1/2 bunch kale
1 large shallot
1 garlic clove minced
1 tbsp red-wine vinegar
1 tsp coarse salt
1 can cranberry or cannellini beans

1)Preheat oven to 400. Cut squash into 1/2 inch thick semicircles. Toss with oil and bake till tender.
2)Mix balsamic + honey. Brush some onto squash. Bake 5 more min.
3)Cook shallot and garlic in oil. Add red-wine vinegar and rest of balsamic+honey, bring to boil.
4) Pour hot dressing over kale and sprinkle with salt.
5) Add squash+beans

Okay, so this is a salad so of course the recipe doesn't have to be closely followed. Yesterday when I made this I didn't include the shallots/garlic. I also didn't have any cranberry beans and so used adzuki beans. And it was still super delicious.

No Longer Home

2010-11-04T20:13:00.002-06:00

On the plane we watch ourselves propel down the runway on a huge TV screen, watch the earth drop until houses shrink and clouds drift over. It's already the future in Tokyo-- the morning of Nov. 24^th, 2004.

A strange meal at 11PM. We already had lunch and dinner--so this is lunch #2, or midnight breakfast? Seafood pasta with fruit and green tea and a sweet bun.

Two cups of orange juice, one cup of apple, two cups of seaweed-ey green tea, one small bottle of water later, and we're almost there. Japanese stewardesses demonstrate "relaxing stretching exercises" while Keith watches sumo wrestling and I listen to the Cure.

These are the things I remember--a fiftyish Japanese lady wearing a lime mink coat, fuschia lipstick, mule high heels covered in pearls. She was on the plane with us from NYC and helped us take the right train from Keisei to Ikebukuro.

On the train from Narita to Tokyo--green everywhere, clothes hanging to dry. Schoolgirls in blazers, plaid scarves, unbelievably short plaid skirts. Kids on a seesaw, huge Coca Cola billboard and still a haddock sky listening to Spiritualized. A parking garage full of bikes. Playgrounds and the sky a circle of flame orangepink.

The walk from Ikebukuro to our hotel down tiny alley-like streets with little vans and kids on bikes and boys on scooters. Every couple feet, at least three vending machines full of coffees and teas and juices and cigarettes and beers. The floor of our $100/night hotel room entirely covered in tatami mats. A tiny TV, an even tinier bathroom. Pokemon telling the weather on the news.

In the bathroom at Damaru restaurant there was a tiny tree growing out of the lid of the toilet where a spigot came out, continuously watering...Uniformed men sweeping leaves off sidewalks with homemade looking brooms. Women in kimonos with white socks and wooden sandals.White surgical masks over faces, even on fashionable teens. Little girls in sailor uniforms. Pachinko parlors. Babies in bike baskets. Revolving sushi in Shibuya—it was Thanksgiving and this was the only deal in Tokyo. And everything crazy Christmas. Trees covered in popping blue lights. Eating my parent's homemade oatmeal cookies all over Tokyo. No one eats on the streets and no cell phones ring on clean subways. The "Casual, Sporty, Lazy" shop in Ikebukuro. So many schoolgirls in uniforms. The girls' plaid skirts just below their bums. And all in penny loafers and knee socks--one girls' are navy with tiny pink playboy bunnies. Tokyo a mix of the neonest of neon, crazily rich dressed kids, and cleanliness. Uniformed men vacuumed subway floors and scrubbed under windows on their hands and knees with toothbrushes. Ultimately, I freaked out in Shinjuku--Tokyo's Times Square. After being dizzy from jet-lag and nauseated on weak knees by countless bowls of plastic food outside restaurants, McDonalds became my savior for the first and last time in my life. The cheeseburger and fries tasted American all the way as I looked down on thousands of people exiting a stadium, my head swimming. Soon, I was able to descend back into the heart of consumerism where high-pitched girl voices blasted on street corners from invisible speakers.

After my transaction at the currency exchange in Narita airport, a staid older man who worked there said, "For you--we were open yesterday," and handed me a bottle of Evian water....?

Our last morning, on the train to Narita--7:30 AM and everyone asleep, heads falling forward--the girl next to me leaning into my shoulder. And there was a boy about eleven in his school suit standing up, eyes closing, his cheek smeared on the window of the door, his face so pure and innocent and he slouched, jerked awake.

Mundane Revelations Amongst Other Things

2010-11-04T18:49:00.007-06:00

-Persimmons! How is it possible I never tried one until today? Deliciousness.
-Bored to Death - how is it possible I never knew of this show until today? Perhaps because I haven't owned a TV in 7 years? Excited to watch it and hoping it's as good as I'm wishing it will be.
Okay, that's actually it for the revelations. In other news, apples are simmering on the stove, filling the house with an amazing applesauce aroma. I replenished my stock of household cleaners today. Why do my homemade, peppermint smelling cleaners somehow make cleaning more enjoyable? I don't know, but I'm glad they do. I feel as though I might be coming down with a cold, but am counting on strong ginger tea to ward it off. Also, the other day a friend gave me a jar of carrot marmalade she'd made. It is amazingly delicious. I need to get the recipe and face my canning fears.
And yes, the above photo has nothing to do with any of this.

Also, About Expectations

2010-11-03T10:09:00.003-06:00

Sufjan Stevens/Vesuvius/Montreal

The last time I saw Sufjan Stevens, years ago in Philadelphia, it was one of the best shows I'd ever seen. He and his band wore giant, beautiful flapping butterfly wings (and called themselves the butterfly brigade)--and played amazingly lovely songs.

But then last week I heard The Age of Adz, his new album and found it kind of hard to listen to--more like his earliest albums--lots of discordant sounds. At the time, I didn't realize he had also put out a beautiful new EP, All Delighted People. Anyway, I went to the concert the other night with no expectations, only to be amazed and delighted at the magical show I saw. Seriously. If he is about to come to your city--go see the show! It was unlike anything I've ever seen, and also sweet and honest and beautiful. The songs were interspersed with anecdotes and tales of his dreams and talk of these new "apocalyptic lovesongs" of his. Truly beautiful and inspiring stuff.

Wholly

2010-11-03T10:03:00.002-06:00

i leave home in the dark of morning, drive into the mountains, silhouetted black against blue. by the time I reach park city, the sky is white, snow melt. along 224, the field of clouds--a milk lake. but oh, the return of headaches. sufjan stevens, laundry, sweet potato hummus and homemade pita in between. a baby, a dog, asleep at my feet in the sun. making small dolphin noises. shadows of aspen leaves dance across a face. the gray bustle of baltimore has been replaced by wide blue skies in my heart. not like the way the baby's eyes fall shut half heartedly--but wholly.

Jonsi in Salt Lake-Hengilas

2010-10-31T13:54:00.002-06:00

Unfortunately, this footage is not too hot AND I missed a few seconds at the beginning and end. Still, the song is so beautiful.

Fall, Again

2010-10-31T13:05:00.002-06:00

While last week was wintery and snowy, it feels like fall again--although it's still gray. This week is supposed to be sunny--hurray! I'm about to make granola bars and butternut, potato, leek soup. Maybe this time I'll have winners...I've been procrastinating working on my own stories/poems and instead have been enjoying this blog. Also, at first my writing blog was open to anyone, then I started to feel a bit shy...so I only invited a few people. But now some time has passed since I last posted anything there--now I have some distance from those poems and am no longer feeling raw and shy. So I've opened the blog once again--if you care to check it out.

First Week of Work Winter Wonderland

2010-10-27T17:31:00.000-06:00

Driving up the mountain in a swirling snowstorm, dark of morning. The baby sleeps, and still the snow falls.

ChchchChanges...and Pumpkin Pancakes

2010-10-24T11:49:00.002-06:00

I truly wish I had my camera with me yesterday, as instead of leaves crunching under our feet--it was snow! Keith and I had headed up to Snowbird in the morning as they were giving free tram rides if you brought a can of food. Since we plan to get our ski passes there, it was the perfect oppurtunity to check out the mountain.

When we first arrived there was just a fine drizzle, but after breakfast, fat drops of snow were falling from the sky! By the time we reached the top of the mountain (at 11,000 feet!) we were in the middle of a storm! It was truly beautiful!

As for other changes, Jonsi cancelled his acoustic in-store performance, but not the show. It was good, but not amazing. Still, I'll post some footage soon. Also, tomorrow is my first full day of work! I went up to Park City for a few hours Thursday and geeze, the baby is so unbelievably tiny!! She's two months and only weighs 9 lbs! Unfortunately, she, "has a little bit of a gas problem." Here's to hoping she doesn't cry too much due to her gas pains!!!!

Also, I had hoped to post a butternut squash soup recipe, but alas, have not been able to find one I like. Every one I've tried so far has been too sweet for me. However, this morning I made pumpkin pancakes. They were really good! Here's the recipe:

Pumpkin Pancakes

Mix: 1 1/4 cups flour
2 tbsp sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp salt
1/8 tsp nutmeg
pinch of ground cloves

In a separate bowl mix: 1 cup milk
6 tbsp pumpkin puree
2 tbsp melted butter
1 egg

Mix the dry and wet ingredients together and cook!

Along Desolation Lake Trail

2010-10-20T19:40:00.000-06:00

Back in MA my mom's already wearing layers of wool. But here in Utah it's been Indian Summer. However, when K and I reached the Salt Lake overlook on our hike yesterday, I donned a hat for the first time this season. Today, I've put the summer clothes away...

PS I'll try to post some recipes soon!

Fall List

2010-10-17T11:52:00.005-06:00

*~~Shuffle through dry leaves to hear their crackly noise, smell fallen leaves~~

*~~Collect leaves and press and dip in beeswax and hang throughout the house (so that Keith says, "it's an autumn wonderland in here!")~~

*Find elderberries and make elderberry syrup

*~~Gather wild rose hips~~ and make rose hip syrup

*~~Eat lots of winter squash: buttercup, butternut,~~ acorn, ~~ambercup~~, white buttercup, ~~carnival~~—search for blue hubbard

*~~Drink hot mulled cider~~/~~drink unpasteurized cider~~

*Knit a hat

*~~Buy snowboard boots/helmet/goggles~~

*~~Carve a pumpkin~~

*~~Roast pumpkin~~ and squash ~~seeds~~

*~~Hike lots~~

*Eat soup from a pumpkin bowl

*Find a good granola bar recipe (finally—after many failed attempts!) ~~and make~~

*~~Make butternut squash soup~~

*~~Make bread~~

*~~Make and eat apple pie!~~

*~~Pot herbs and bring inside to window seat~~

*~~Make apple chip nut cake~~

*Learn how to use Itunes!

*~~See Jonsi~~ + ~~Sufjan Stevens~~ and maybe Azure Ray!

*Unfortunatley, I still have not found a good butternut soup or granola bar recipe!!!

Inexplicable

2010-10-16T14:46:00.000-06:00

Lately, I've been feeling like I'm in the exact right place, at the exact right time, doing the exact right thing...I've been feeling this more and more each day since moving here to Salt Lake. It is unheard of. If someone had told me last year at this time that I'd be living here and feeling this way, I wouldn't have believed it. There's this joy that just keeps bubbling within. It really is the strangest thing, especially considering that one of my good friends nicknamed me "sourpuss" once upon a time...

I mentioned all this to Keith and he said that I should expect this feeling to soon go, that maybe I'm just feeling this way because I haven't been working! Well, we'll see, as I start work in four days...

However, it's not just that my mind is happy, but good things are happening in the outer world too. Recently I have received two wonderful, unexpected bits of news.

Cherry Blossoms ...Lovely, Heartbreaking Film

2010-10-13T22:03:00.001-06:00

Battling the Gray

2010-10-12T11:28:00.002-06:00

If September was brilliant blue skies, October is gray. I'd been staving it off with lights, candles, hot tea and peppermint oil. Telling myself the dark was actually cozy--to stay inside on an autumn day, wrapped in wool and fleece.

Also, how do I know that winter will soon be upon us? No, it's not the dark, not all my snowboard talk or the changing leaves--it's the chap. It's like I'm some washerwoman from some bygone era--my hands all rough and scratchy. Especially noticeable when holding K's hand--his oh-so-soft "delicate genius" hands (have you seen that Seinfeld episode?).

Anyway, today is the first truly sunny day in I think a week. It feels like a miracle. And so today I don't actually have to battle the gray (or the chap so much as I have implemented the use of purple rubber gloves for dishwashing--they make me feel like a 50's housewife in a commercial). Today, K and I are going to the Dental Spa, and then hiking again. Yes, you read right: the Dental Spa! where we will proceed to sit in massage chairs and drink tea and get our hands dipped in parrafin wax before getting our teeth cleaned!!!

PS Aren't these grapes sunshiney? I still can't believe they're from the alley behind my house! Oh Bountiful Utah!

Yesterday

2010-10-10T09:31:00.002-06:00

Yesterday Keith and I drove up MillCreek, hiked Alexander's Basin to Gobbler's Gnob. The earth moist from the rain, cold air in my lungs. K saw a little gray pheasant, or was it a quail? There were men dressed in camouflage on horseback with bows and arrows in their backpacks, bright berries, the air spicy. I brought home moss for the bottom of my terrarium.

At the Farmer's Market we bought cheese rubbed in salt and honey, black walnuts, buttercup squash. Ate hot fries with andalouse sauce at Bruges.

One of the mountaintops is white! And I got a snowboard! Woohoo!!

Jónsi - Kolnidur live in Toronto

2010-10-09T10:19:00.000-06:00

Cold!

2010-10-09T10:18:00.003-06:00

It's cold and my mind is turning towards pumpkins, warm soup and bread, cardigans, glowing candles at dusk, ski socks, the colors brown and orange, weather stripping the windows, hot chocolate and apple crisp for breakfast, converting our gas fire place to a real one, corduroys and the heat for a few hours in the morning, snowboarding! A possible trip to Palm Desert? Only 2 weekends left of the Farmer's Market! Oh, and tickets to see Jonsi (Sigur Ros' lead singer)! So happy about this as we had tickets to see him in Boston in May but ended up staying in Nepal longer than we thought and so missed the show...How exciting we can make it up and see him here in Salt Lake! And oh my goodness, I just found out that Jonsi's also doing an acoustic performance in a record store in town! The excitement knows no bounds...

More Nepal...

2010-10-07T12:44:00.000-06:00

So, it's rough, and definitely a bit shaky...These clips begin in Kathmandu at the Boudha stupa, then there's Karma Chagme's place in Bangjang and then K in Guru Rinpoche's Yangleshod cave and lots of little monks and roaming animals!

Windows Movie Maker!

2010-10-04T08:44:00.004-06:00

Well, thanks to dear Ed and Jared too, I actually own a copy of Windows Movie Maker (unbeknownst to me until yesterday). I just started fooling around with it. Here's the result.