Friday, January 13, 2012



what to write? why so hard to make myself practice, to work on the book? the book that doesn’t want to be written. perhaps? or the book that won’t be written. all week I so wanted to write, to work on the book, but  was too busy doing more pressing things; now the urge has fled. how to get it back? force, wrangle it? oh how I love the interruptions—to check a blog, my email.
creamy milk tea, creamy honey milk tea.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Dungse Thinley Norbu Rinpoche



Earlier this year, we lost the great beings Khandro Tsering Chodron and  Kyabje Trulshik Rinpoche. And now, Dungse Thinley Norbu Rinpoche. ..


Message from Ven. Gyatrul Rinpoche on Dungsei Thinley Norbu Rinpoche's Passing

We have heard that Thinley Norbu Rinpoche passed away. Therefore, at all the centers students should gather if they can and practice Dorsem Lama Chodpa--the practice of making offerings to the guru as Vajrasattva. Individually, students should recite Vajrasattva mantra as much as they can. Why should everyone do Vajrasattva at such a time? Whether or not the lama who passed away needs purification, we have no way of knowing. But when a great master passes, the power of merit accumulated at such a time is said to be increased even 100,000 times. Therefore, since we all need to purify our obscurations and accumulate merit, we can use the Lama Chodpa (practice of offering to the guru) as the method to engage our three doors in virtue at that time. Engaging our body, speech, and mind in such powerful virtue purifies the negativity that we constantly use them for out of habit. And we all have connection to this lama, the son of His Holiness Dudjom Rinpoche, so therefore we need to practice now. 

There is a special blessing and power to practices done at such a time with faith and devotion--the merit gathered and the negativity purified are truly inconceivable. This is because of the enlightened intent of such a master, whose every act is only to bring benefit to all beings. Such masters are not ordinary like ourselves. They don't die like we do, powerless and sniveling. They are born into this world as an act of compassion, as long as their physical body endures they use it only to bring benefit, and then they pass away and again teach the truth of impermanence just as Buddha Shakyamuni did. Therefore their passing, too, is part of their enlightened display, their miraculous activity in this world. That is why there is such power and blessing at their seeming 'death.' We should not think, "Oh, I'm so sorry that this lama is dead." Instead, we should feel faith and devotion and appreciate that we personally have such an opportunity for powerful practice. We shouldn't think, "Oh, it is just tradition to practice when a lama passes." It is more than just a tradition; it is an opportunity to take advantage of the exceptional blessing of that time. Also, traditionally you might go and offer katags and other offerings, and maybe you can't do that now, but always you can make the offering of practice. That is a real offering, and you don't have to go anywhere to make it. 

We also shouldn't think, "This was not my lama." In fact, when any great lama of any tradition passes away there is this same opportunity. We can always do the Lama Chodpa practices at such a time. Gelug, Sakya, Kagyu, Nyingma--it makes no difference what school of Buddhism the master taught or practiced. We also should not think that there is no blessing for us if we never met that master in this life. When you do the Lama Chodpa, you are offering to all gurus, all yidams, all dakinis. You should think in a vast way like this when you practice, don't be narrow or rigid thinking that it is only one way. A true guru encompasses all the three roots--all guru manifestations, all yidams, all dakinis. You don't have to do the Lama Chodpa only for a lama, or only at their passing. We always need to gather merit, because we are always exhausting our merit. We always need to purify negativity, because we are always so busy making more negativity. Therefore see this as an opportunity to practice, a time of blessing and guru devotion, and do as much Vajrasattva as you can--a little bit here and there continuously. It will be of great benefit.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Of Note


1) The movies Restless and Submarine
2) Persimmons and walnuts
3) Sweet potato greens soup with olive oil and feta
4) Layers of wool
5) Upcoming: Ali Shaw's The Man Who Rained and Linda Olsson's The Kindness of Your Nature
6) Sigur Ros new album in spring! 

7) Spending my first ballet class in 17 years with professional ballet dancers=unnerving
8) A day in the kitchen roasting chickpeas, butternut, apples, pumpkins and their seeds; baking pie, making pumpkin soup and avocado kale salad
9) The sweetness that is my work
10) H&M insanity
11) snow and more snow

the first 10 minute of INNI - sigur ros

Teej!

I've been meaning to post this since I was in Nepal a few months ago!








       When the music first began, I was worried it would stop before I’d get a chance to document it. K and I were practising in our room. I was itching to finish and race out to the balcony to record this strange occurence. The music was like nothing I’d ever heard--it rose up from Bhanjang as though to the heavens--this blasting Nepali pop. Little did I know I had nothing to worry about, as the music marked the first day of Teej, beginning at 8AM the first day and not ending until the night of the third! Instead of worrying that the music would end, I soon began to worry about my sanity-or lack thereof-as just a handful of songs were roatated at an ear-splitting volume over the next few days--ultimately boring into my brain.
From what I’ve been able to glean, Teej is a Hindu festival for woman which lasts for three consecutive days. During this time, the men supposedly stay home and cook, and the women dress up and go to temples to pray to Shiva for a good husband and/or the health of their families. The married women dress in shimmering red saris accented with green, moving through the streets of Pharping en shimmering masse. In the evening, the women and girls gather together and dance (to said blaring music).
In Bhanjang, the little village down below Karma Chagme’s monastery, two enormous speakers had been set up in front of the shops in the dirt. They stood there, blasting their music through sun, fog and rain. It was the music from these speakers that I heard that first morning (and the next, and the next). Along with the addition of the speakers in Bhanjang, across the street below the school, a tent was set up next to a small shrine. Banners of triangular colored cloth crisscrossed the street.
In the morning, the music was the soundtrack to the villagers going about their daily routines--the women spreading cobs of bright yellow corn, husks and wet sheets on roofs; sitting in the sun combing their freshly washed, impossibly long black hair; dogs chasing small chickens; laundry hung to dry; men standing around.
Throughout the day, the tent slowly began to fill, first with jubilantly dancing little girls holding hands twirling in frilly dresses; then with more and more women, until evening when the tent became a mass of undulating red in the rain, while men and boys looked on.
Sitting on my bed, the music mixed with the sounds of the monastery: the blowing of horns, crashing of cymbals and thumping of drums by the young monks up in the temple. It mixed with the sound of K chanting along to a loudly playing recording of Penor Rinpoche and his monks chanting and playing instruments--resulting in the most horrific cacophony I had ever heard.
Even after K and I had threaded our way through the lush green fields, where dry cornstalks towered above us and rice grew to our waists, where white cranes flew and goatherds tended their goats, to the other side of the valley, we could still here the music! Even as we walked through the neighboring village of Drolod and climbed up scaffolding whose safety we questioned, to the top of the 118 foot Guru RInpoche statue being built, there was still the music’s echo.
      Last night, Teej ended with the women down in the tent singing and clapping out rhythms. What did Teej teach me? How lovely silence is! It made me miss the whirring of crickets, the cooing of pigeons, the occasional honk of a horn going down the mountain.






Friday, November 4, 2011

Indeed,

there was
           cider,
               apple cider doughnuts,
                   the toasting of pumpkin seeds,
                     this:

There was also this:

a foot and a half of snow,
  a dragonfly frozen on the windshield,
    the power out,
      huddling 'round the fire,
         dad heating water for coffee with a blow torch
             fallen trees littering the streets,
                everything closed.
                    a snowmageddon
     

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Resigned






As I mentioned last time, I was having a hard time accepting autumn for a few weeks there. My body and mind perhaps confused from all the shifting temperatures lately: boiling hot and rainy in Nepal to warm India to crisp here. But I'm finally resigned! No, not just resigned but even embracing fall! The yellow aspens, the squash, the apples!

And next week I finally visit my family's home after being away for almost a year and a half. I am looking forward to sweet (and naughty) nieces and nephews, apple cider from the side of the road in lunenburg, flaming maples, and my dear family!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Better


Well, I think I'm finally settling back in here--the melancholy has lifted--despite the mountains covered in snow, the forty degree weather, the gray skies. Library books never fail to cheer me. Today three were waiting for me...I'm especially excited to read Vendela Vida's, Let the Northern Lights Erase Your Name and Tove Jansson's Fair Play! Oh, and to watch another Susanne Bier movie tonight. Last night I rewatched After the Wedding, one of my all time favorite movies. How could I not love it: India, Sigur Ros soundtrack, amazing acting...Oh, and this blog!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

the last month and a half


trying to become accustomed once again
to the most holy of places
mixed with garbageeverywhereincessanthonkingnoisebeggarspovertyfilth

khenpo telling me i need to be able, "to live at any level," to be able to seamlessly shift between comfort and poverty, west and east

the worry that the indian police would come throw us in jail for not having our PAP's...

and then k's illness. for really the first time in my life being confronted with sickness, and needles, and hospitals. i don't know how k does it...being a doctor

so while Asia was anything but easy this time around, easing back into our american lives has also been a shock to the system...

k back to his gruelling residency and me back to trying to keep us both afloat

and it is fall

coming home, i wasn't prepared for pumpkins and leaves all a'change. the snowflakes that fell this morning as lentil soup simmered, my hands kneaded dough.

 i'm not yet ready for the dark...