Lines from 2003

Beginings of two poems:

I’d Stand With my Hip Out Trying to be Sexy, When I Was a Girl.

a teenage ballerina with a joint in a tutu. small pebbles in a soap dish. raspberry pie. spinning circles in the kitchen. fireworks like poprocks burst in the sky while the last drips of my blood dry. in my dream we’re sharing blackberries. sunbeam, moonbeam, marmalade. butter on burns. tea and toast. watermelon toenails. a thin film.

did she have freckles between her breasts? fingernails stained carrot? lollipop colored clothes? and the strawberry moon has already passed.

today

my mind's all foggy and tired and sad and gray. and a sharp pain near my left temple throbbing with each small movement. and i have to go deal with a four year old in 6 minutes...and should i have rubber stamps made for the chapbooks? and how can we make paper boats? and really fancy paper planes? and must make may baskets. and i can only take just so much with the legos. and like a child i get mad when he knocks down the things i build just cause he knows it's not nice. and why does he want to get under my skin? and why do i care? and where is my patience and bodhicitta these days? and my pants are still too tight.

Baltimore

Baltimore, what I really want to know is who sorts through the recyclables? These days we can put plastic and paper out together--even mixed (gasp)--it seems. But really, who sorts through this stuff? When I think about this, all I can remember is that Simpsons episode where Homer is running for mayor and they sing that song about who can do all the dirty work (to the tune of the candy man) with the refrain of "the garbage man can..." And so anyway, all I can hear in my head when I wonder about this is, "Who can sort my recyclables?" (same candy man tune...) I guess if you've never seen that episode, none of this really makes sense, and definitely isn't funny. But if you have....

More...

The bookmaking was made much nicer thanks to

-Sigur Ros/Taak

-Radiohead/Kid A

-Sufjan Stevens/The Avalanche

-Tunng/Bricks

-Azure Ray/Burn and Shiver

-Sigur Ros/Untitled

Success!

I'm happy to report that after a day of nasty trial and error--today's bookmaking was smooth sailing! I didn't freak out even once! All the covers are done--yay!

1 Down--11 To Go

So last night I made the first book. I was really excited. After I glued the pages in I set it under a huge stack of books. All night I felt like it was Christmas Eve--I was so excited for the morning when the allotted 12 hrs drying time would have passed and I could look at the book. This morning I looked, and boy does expectation suck. I was so disappointed with how it came out!!! I am horrible at making things exact and perfectly aligned...I'm wishing myself better luck today.....

Now..........

cramps and class till 11--talk of, "We can see Jenn had some trouble again..." and "it didn't pop all that well"--it's like being on american idol. 2 days ago sitting in bliss on a sandy beach by a probably man-made pond. the sunshine and digging and now the sweetest buttery cookbook--a taste of country coooking--planning in my head what i'll feed my parents when they're here. an itchy nose. and watching ice cubes melt. and today I begin the book making!!!!!!!!!!

15 Days!!!!!!!!!!!

Book Making!

I finally have all (well, almost all) my paper and am so excited to start making my books!

Curtains of Marigolds

There’s lights on and there’s mouse droppings all over the floor. And the only reassurances in four and a half months. And what shall I write? Empty of poems--in a haze of flowers and sneezes and runny nose: lawn mowers and a small plastic pool filled with water and finally an address. And a card bought so long ago. And it never ends. And I don’t want capitals. Picnics and showers and sun and sunscreen. Fungus on a face. White spots and freckles. And pee in a pool. And she didn’t mind he got wet. And construction and pink and flowers and flowers. And seth about to be in a hospital, paid for fourteen days and can’t know the time, the day. And his presentations. And he said he can’t hear the messages. And always in the shower. And not sure what supposed to do. And class was cancelled. Is he so tired? And the nose so itchy. And it tastes like I’ve been licking envelopes. And still, why can’t I write him? And wants me to tell something. Exacerbated. Persisted. A pressing. Flying elephants. And a lesbian. Fast talking and wet hair.

Impermenence

Work....

I know I've already posted about my job a few times--and maybe it's getting old. But seriously, I am so grateful for the job I have. I have to be so in the moment and so attentive to my four year old charge that I'm forced to forget all my worries (namely the dreaded Typography class!). And also, I get paid for conversations like this:

Me: I'm going on a diet today.
Ry: Why?
Me: Because I think I'm getting a little too fat. What do you think?
Ry: I like how you look. You look like a hot dog.
Me: Is that a compliment?
Ry: What's a compiment?
Me: Is that good or is that bad?
Ry: It's a compiment. 'Cause you 're skinny like a hot dog.

Electronic Pub Homework!!

What I Think About Electronic Publishing Rights:

Basically, it seems that rights get a bit murky when publishing online...There can be First Electronic Rights and also First Print Rights. But if you publish online and have simply transferred "First Rights" then it looks like that's it--your First Rights are gone. Exclusive Rights or Exclusivity is when a publication can print your work only for a certain amount of time. Even if you just have a poem of your on a website--if you grant someone else exclusivity you're supposed to take it off your own website...hmm. What I want to know is who is making these rules? Okay, I'm not going to talk about all the endless rights discussed in the blood and ink article. But I will say that in the last few weeks, I've looked at countless online journals and in most cases, never saw any information about rights--not even in the Guidelines sections. Perhaps most journals only let you know what rights they acquire after they choose to accept your work?? Hmm...shouldn't this information be more readily available for those who wish to submit online? Maybe this is one of the reasons some people are trepidatious to do so--they don't really know what they're getting into...

Sufjan Stevens - Majesty Snowbird

Beautifulness...

Decisions decisions and Pink!

Lately, I can't get a good night's sleep--my mind swirling with should my book be paperback or hardcover? Book cloth? In what color? Where can I find a nice brown paper? And when will my samples of banana and lemon and mango paper arrive?

14 Good Baltimore Things

I hate Baltimore. I hate it's gray skies. I hate how it never snows in winter. I hate how it's humid in summer. I hate it's mice and rats. Basically, I hate everything about it--except for this:

1. Dominion Ice Cream/Charles Village http://www.eatyourvegsicecream.com/ (vegetable flavors with vitamins and minerals!)
2. Bonaparte Bakery/Fells Point 903 S Ann StBaltimore, MD 21231 (the tarts are so good)
3. Pitango Gelato/Fells Point http://www.pitangogelato.com/ (amazing hot chocolate too)
4. The Evergreen/Roland Park 501 W. Coldspring Lane (best muffins ever--especially the chocolate chip)
5. Trinidadian Gourmet/Waverly 418 E. 31st St. (delicious fast food and so cheap)
6. Farmer's Market/downtown Saratoga Street between Holliday and Gay Streets (under JFX Viaduct) Sunday: 8:00 a.m. to Noon (or sell out) May 6 - December 23 (it starts soon!)
7. Punjab Groceries and Halal Meat 345 E. 33rd St (such cheap spices)
8. Han Ah Reum 800 North Rolling Rd.,Catonsville, MD 21228 (well, this one isn't really Baltimore--but it has enough fruits and vegetables from around the world to make your head spin)
9. The Health Concern http://www.healthconcern.com/retailer/store_templates/shell_id_1.asp?storeID=ASDD8KEKJFSR2LHA0G03N0ET9M048S73 (well, this one is Towson, but they have the best honey candy ever)

Okay, I know there's a trend here: food. My husband always jokes that I love food so much, he can't believe I'm not a 200lb lady...Anyway, here're some non-food good things.

10) Paptapsco State Park http://www.dnr.state.md.us/publiclands/central/patapscovalley.html
(for hiking--and there's a waterfall!)
11) Cylburn Arboretum http://www.cylburnassociation.org/grounds.htm (this place is so beautiful now with thousands of daffodils in bloom and so many flowering trees)
12) Druid Hill Park Conservatory http://www.homeandabroad.com/viewSiteDetails.ha?mainInfoId=97479 (I can't think of a better place to go on a cold but sunny day...you can warm up amidst bannana and pomegranate trees)
13) The Baltimore library system (did you know you can search for books online and they'll send them to your nearest branch?)
14) Video Americain http://www.videoamericain.com/ (who doesn't hate Blockbuster?)

I Hate The Words Chicken Cutlet

Squeezing blood oranges between my fingers. Strawberry bread. Letters projected on a face--purple lines across a forehead. The skull bursting. They scrabbled about. Lou the maintenance man telling me about a water rat knawing his uncle's infected elbow in the night and his to-die-for butternut recipe as he mouseproofs my house. The name Ella. A tin of chocolates. A cast iron skillet. Like gum sticking to the bottom of my shoe...A changeling. A jar of honey. Teeth soup. Opalescent. A nanny goat. A billy goat. A key hole.

Online Journals

Here's a list of some very cool online journals:

-Blood Lotus http://www.bloodlotus.org/
-Word Salad http://wsmagazine.net/
-Cha http://www.asiancha.com/index.php
-La Petite Zine http://www.lapetitezine.org/
-Sub-lit http://www.sub-lit.com/main.html
-JMWW http://jmww.150m.com/
-Wicked Alice http://www.sundress.net/wickedalice/
-Slow Trains http://www.slowtrains.com/poetryindex.html
-Barnwood http://web.mac.com/tomkoontz/Site_3/Mag.html
-Suspect Thoughts http://www.suspectthoughts.com/main.htm

The journals below are not listed on any online journals lists I found through Google (i.e. they are lesser known and more quirky):
-Horse Less Review http://www.horselesspress.com/horselessreview.html
-Double Room http://webdelsol.com/Double_Room/
-Drunken Boat http://www.drunkenboat.com/db9/index.html
-Elimae http://www.elimae.com/archives.html
-Humus http://humus.nu/

And here's a link that has more endless lists of interesting journals, small press and more: http://persephassa.com/flashback.html

Ode To Nannying

While there are plenty of times my patience begins to wear with endless questions and the alternately exquisitely slow/frenetic pace of a four year old--I am so grateful for these comments, questions and moments:
We're off down the alley to watch the tree truck..........

Fascinated by the painters out the window....And as Ry said, "Very snug."

Looking for blue jays through his "spot-oscope..."

In a "perfect hiding spot for bird watching..."

-"Ghosts are soft and they're made out of blankets."

-"He was a baby, but he was bigger than a sugarplum."

-"Jenn, do you like all the things in the world?" (uhmm, definitely...)

-"One time when I was at the seaside..."

-"The whole world is covered in daffodils!"

-"Jenn, you are an oh my god!" (upon seeing me with bangs for the first time)

-"All the beaches in the world are golden..."

-"We should go to this arboretum EVERYDAY!"

-"Would you like to come here with me and get some sap from the sugar maple? All we need is a spigot and a clean metal bucket..."

-Learning the names of trees together: Japanese Apricot, Red Buckeye, Pawpaw...