It's Done

I can't believe it.
But the tickets are bought.
Thursday night we will be in a plane,
heading back to Holiness
who sits in meditation upon his bed.

Do The Opposite of This

....i know for sure that what my mind is doing right now is the exact opposite of what it's supposed to be doing...as far as i can tell, i'm supposed to be relaxing my mind as much as possible (aka not all the conceptualizing i'm doing!) and meditating in the hopes of mingling my mind with Holiness'...while he is in thugdam is supposed to be the best chance for this.........

my mom wanted to know why i wanted to go to india--what i would get from it. i couldn't think of what to say except, lamely: it's my last chance to see him and say goodbye and finally, "blessings." and basically, that's what it comes down to. i feel like by going to india, i will "get" something from holiness...that something will happen to my mind for the better...and that's just me wanting wanting wanting more from holiness even in death.

on the other hand, if i stay in america and don't go just to pacify my enraged father, will i forever regret not having gone? and also forever be mad at him for "making" me stay?

Yes, Another Post

Noelle, I answered your question in the comments section, under yours. But I forgot to say that you don't need a PAP if you just stay in Kushalnagar....

Now, I need to decide:
is it better to stay true to Holiness and my religion and go to Namdroling
or
try to be a bodhisattva and stay here in America just to make my dad happy................

I am at a total loss as to what's the right thing to do.

News about His Holiness

Keith received an email from Palyul today saying that HH is expected to stay in thugdam for several days and for those wishing to come to the monastery, to make your travel plans for 7-10 days from now. Hoping for more details, K persuaded me to call Khenpo tonight....He told me that Holiness will not go out of thugdam until Karma Kuchen arrives from Tibet. And that once Karma Kuchen sees Holiness, they are planning on having a public blessing (actually, he might have said viewing--i'm not sure) on April 10th..........

India

Who is going to Namdroling in 7-10 days?

HH Penor Rinpoche

My Holiness is gone.
HH Drubwang Pema Norbu Rinpoche has passed away.

A Serving Heart

Yesterday, one of my parent's neighbors came over with daffodils. My mom told her how I was still looking for a job and K--the neighbor--told us how she works at a restaurant in Acton and could put a word in for me if I was, "serious," about applying. She told me how she loves taking care of people and helping them have a nice night out. "I think they can really tell if you have a serving heart," she said. After she left, I asked my parents if they think I have a serving heart..........unfortunately, the answer was a resounding no!

What Was Gram's

a compass (ring), a (gold) locket, a lost and then found diamond, an autograph book from 1933, a black slip, a braid of honey hair

The Finches 'Daniel's Song'

and an itchy head, fries at the rivergod, blake and i laughing, sleepy sunny car ride, portsmouth popovers..........

The Jimmies - Do The Elephant

this is slightly ridiculous but actually a really great public service announcement!

Hard to Believe

That a mere nine days ago my dawns were spent circumambulating the Migyur Dorje stupa in the cool of the fog. Mornings spent drinking chai, eating puri, washing and hanging laundry on the line and practising in our unbearably hot but still room. An evening found Keith and I on Khenpo's roof, sitting on cushions at his feet receiving teachings in the glow of Zangdoplari...

These days,
mornings are spent chatting and doing errands with my dad--squeezing practice in while he goes for a walk at the mall. My parents and I sup on soup and bread. Then more errands and chatting...

And today,
today found me on the phone for three hours with a guy in India--trying to get wireless to work on my laptop, and laying on the couch with my mom discussing the benefits of reconstructive surgery vs prosthesis....

I've gone back in time a day
Gone from hot to cold
Quiet to noisy
Calm to slightly stressed out

Looking for a job
Worrying about money
Running around trying to get my car on the road...

I'm definitely in America!

Meanwhile....
I've been slightly worried about K, alone there in Nepal, only four hours of power a day, eating crappy food made by pubescent monks. But today I received an email from him. In it, he told me he's been going around Kathmandu with Donald Trump...

TuesdayTuesdayTuesday...in America

-sour cream and garlic and cherries and agave nectar
-trying to find the cheapest possible car insurance and hoping I didn't leave the title for my car in Baltimore!
-apples simmering on the stove
-snow clinging to trees
-icy sun
-excited to see my sweet cousins in boston this weekend
-about to eat my dad's delicious white bean soup, then go to the new library!
-waiting to hear if i got the nanny job on west street
-wearing jeans again
-big afternoon plans to make deoderant and granola
-anxious to see the looks on my parent's faces while we watch slumdog millionaire tonight!

Teri Ore - Full HD video Sinng is Kinng

yes, i really am posting an indian song!!! this song is ubiquitous throughout india and nepal's internet cafe's...

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