Saturday, March 28, 2009

Do The Opposite of This

....i know for sure that what my mind is doing right now is the exact opposite of what it's supposed to be doing...as far as i can tell, i'm supposed to be relaxing my mind as much as possible (aka not all the conceptualizing i'm doing!) and meditating in the hopes of mingling my mind with Holiness'...while he is in thugdam is supposed to be the best chance for this.........

my mom wanted to know why i wanted to go to india--what i would get from it. i couldn't think of what to say except, lamely: it's my last chance to see him and say goodbye and finally, "blessings." and basically, that's what it comes down to. i feel like by going to india, i will "get" something from holiness...that something will happen to my mind for the better...and that's just me wanting wanting wanting more from holiness even in death.

on the other hand, if i stay in america and don't go just to pacify my enraged father, will i forever regret not having gone? and also forever be mad at him for "making" me stay?

1 comment:

robert said...

Yes you can, Yes you should, You know you must. Good Luck!